Kailyn and me

Kailyn and I have some major personality differences. I don't even know where to start, but I do think this mornings conversations would help. Here goes

Me "Kailyn, you need to go in your room and pick up all your stuffed animals and put them in your toy box"
Kailyn "I, uh, uh, but I'm hungry"
Me "Amazing, you're always hungry, thirsty or want to hug me whenever there is something you don't want to do. You can eat after you pick up your toys"

I'll pause so you can call scan now........

She then begins to cry. I say "suck it up, go pick up"

She immediately stops crying and says, "why are you so mean to me!?!"

I almost said, because it's fun, but I didn't think that would go over very well.
She almost got all of the toys picked up and we had gone back and forth for a long while, so I went ahead and let her eat. See I am nice. Next was picking up her dirty clothes and putting them in her basket, which is in her room by the way.

"Kailyn, now go pick up all of your dirty clothes and put them in your basket"
Kailyn "B.."
me "now."
"whatevs mom"

This is now almost 2 hours past when we started this rodeo and I have since asked her to put her extra blankets and put them in her new little tote I got her. she says...
"but why can't I just stop now and do the rest tomorrow, I'm tired, and it's lunch time and you never let me eat, and I'm starving (tears start to fall) to death mom, starving to death. Are you trying to kill me? I'm just so exhausted"

Now, before she started crying, I was thinking, I guess she has done a some, maybe we can go stuff her build a bear, and she can do some more tonight and tomorrow, but once I saw those tears, my backbone grew back.

"Kailyn, you're being ridiculous. You can just suck it up, and go clean."

She then came back a few minutes later saying she was hurt so I told her, "if there is no blood dripping from your body, like actually pooling on the floor, then you don't get to come out of your room."

Kailyn's retort... "oh Mom"

I then hear her walking down the hall saying "suck it up Baney, go clean, no, you're being ridiculous" In a very mocking tone.

I started laughing. I can't wait until she's a teenager, it could be truly interesting. I sure love that kid though, she is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

My husband loves me, so he buys me tampons

He loves me so much he doesn't just grab the first box he sees, do the self check out, and dash out the door. He goes in "the isle" looks around and finds the box that fits my needs. You see the "drug-induced" periods are a bit more uh....intense than the average flo. So he goes for the the heavy flo multipax unscented of course. He brings them home for me and I get excited that it's the perfect pack for me and I said "it's even unscented" and he says well, I know you don't like the scented kind. The man knows about my tampon preference! That's love. I have the best hubby ever!

Wisdom teeth

I have now had my wisdom teeth ripped out of my mouth. It really wasn't that bad. I was totally unconsious during the whole thing, so that was nice! I'm a little sore, but mostly just one tooth hole hurts, they had a little bit of trouble with it. The main part that I was worried about is the healing. I'm easily grossed out, and the second I read about yellow scabs forming, I wanted to back out. The drugs aren't that great so far, but I just switched to oxycodone, maybe that will be better. Mostly, the stitches are crappy, and I keep thinking I have some food in my mouth, but it's just the stitches. On a happier note, I've gotten to lounge around all day, and it is totally justified! I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow too. Yippee for being lazy!

Why my kid is funnier than me

I was talking to John about how some people work for the state and work their butts off and Kailyn chimed in and said....
Kailyn "Like you do?"
me "ya, sure"
Kailyn "You do! You get up, you work, you pick me up, you cook dinner, you work a lot, you do lots of stuff and I respect that."
Me "haha, well thank you"
Kailyn "But most importantly, you nurture me"

I love her vocabulary

Uh, sorry

It's been a long time. Me procrastinating, how weird. Anyway, here's what's new with us. We're selling my car (the Murano) and we're going to get a Prius. We are currently filling up my Murano every 5 days, so it will be WONDERFUL to not have to do that. Not to mention all the money we wills save by having a cheaper car! We are going to be crazy frugal for a year and see how much we can save. The up side of this is I get to play with numbers and the budget a lot! I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing that. I know, I'm a dork. Anyway, we are also refinancing our mortgage and going to switch to a shorter loan, so that is also good. I love making good financial choices. Let the savings begin!

Oh! For all the love in the world!

This is the best site ever. Thank you for sharing it with me Anya!

http://beta.peopleofwalmart.com/

update

So lately I have been "self-medicating." Not in the whole, drugging myself up with pain killers way, but in the whole, I don't think the doctors are listening to me, so let's try this kind of way. It is working, AND I still passed my liver test :)

So now I will be taking 2000mg of my Metformin ER and see how that works. Don't worry, I have doctor approval now. I'm still putting that progesterone in an unnatural location, and I'm ready to be done with that. I am not too moody yet. Oh, and I have decided to put off taking the crazy experimental fertility drug, you know the one with the side effects where you have to sign a waiver. So I will have to take birth control for one whole stinking month. Yup, if I'm not on fertility drugs I have to be on the pill. So when i say "my body hates me" just know it really does hate me....a lot. So now I am hating my body back :)

Happy Anniversary!!!

Today John and I have been married for 8 years. I must admit that I still like the guy. Really, I do. It's been a long 8 years, but at the same time it has flown by. I am very happy and lucky to be with such a great guy, and a wonderful father to our little Kailyn. He is hotter today than the day I met him, and well, I'm fluffier (see what I did there, it's a nice way to say fatter.) I can't wait for the next 80 years! Based off his genes and his grandma I'm gonna say he'll be alive that long! I also love the fact that I truly believe that he is mine forever, not just until death. That's right, he will be with me forever... for e v e r!!! :) I also wen to the dr today, but that was sad, so I put it in a different post.
Happy Anniversary Love!

ugh

So today I went to go to the lovely Fertility Dr again. John and I decided to try another round of fertility drugs and see what happened, well today I paid $240 for a lovely vaginal ultra sound and a 10 minute visit with Dr. Batres. Dr. Moutis (Jon Lovitz) must not want me anymore. I knew this whole time it didn't work, I just didn't want it to be true. So the new plan is for me to wait a week and then take some more prometrium (progesterone that makes me have a period) except this time.....duh duh duh, I have to use a vaginal suppository. I have said vaginal twice in this post, new record. Anywho, I can try another round of fertility, some non approved drugs that are crazy and hard on the body, I have to sign a concent form for them. I think we may wait a bit to try again, even though my body handled this round better than the rounds in the past, it is wearing me down. That was the 10th round of drugs I had done. So now you all know. I am insanely horrible irreversibly broken. Kailyn really truly is my miracle child. At least Batres (who's foreign) made me giggle a bit every time he said intercourse with his little accent. :)

I'm not gonna lie...

This made me cry. I couldn't sum it up better, so just follow the link, and yes, I am a dork.

http://tv.yahoo.com/so-you-think-you-can-dance/show/36160/videos/14704989

Out of the mouth of babes.......and men

Here are some conversations that took place in our home in the last few days. Before you read this you need to know that 1. Kailyn doesn't understand sarcasm, and she is really trying to grasp it, and 2. John does find me attractive. Here goes

Kailyn "mom, your butt is big"
me "I know"
K "no really, it's big."
me "I am aware"
K "I just wanted you to know your butt is big"
me "I got it Kailyn, I have a big butt"
K "Is that sarcasm?"
me "no, it isn't. I am acknowledging the hugeness of my butt"
K "ok, because it really is huge."

This got me to wondering, how wide was my butt and how far is it spanning? I had asked John the loaded question and he responded quite well. He said something like I don't know, I like your butt. Tonight; however, was different. I was looking in the mirror and said...
"huh, I guess my butt is getting bigger. I've got a little junk in my trunk. How my junk is in my trunk?"
John "Ya, your butt is a little junky"
me "hahahahaha, I've gotta blog this"

She's here

Flo that is. I don't like her and she doesn't like me.
Flo is my foe.
Just so you know, if she doesn't come on her own, and bring your present, and you instead make her come bring you a present. She will try and kill you. Just a heads up.

Alright

It's here. The mean, raging, horrible, incredibly moody woman. I was doing great, really flippin great, but today that all went away. Tonight is my last night to take the progesterone, but I may break something before then. I think I know why Ozzy Osborn bit the head off a bat, I think he was on progesterone. I've never slapped anyone, but today might be the day. I am irrationally mad, over nothing. For example, I called John 4 times over an hour and a half, he didn't answer. I also left 4 voice mails about the band aids he needed that I was going all over town for, and he never responded. While this would normally be annoying to me, tonight it made me so mad that I wanted to blow his car up, either that or bite someone's head off. The worst part, I know it is not normal, or rational, or even like me to get this mad, but I can't help it. I even told him not to talk to me a little while ago. Why you ask, well I slipped and he asked if I was ok, and it made me mad, I mean, how rude! Asking if your wife is ok. I know, it's nuts! So, to justify, my ovary hurts, I'm insanely bloated, by boobs are swollen, and achy, and I am incredibly hot, AND I feel sick to my stomach. Ok, that's all. No it's not, really what I'm saying is, if you must talk to me tomorrow, be patient with me and bring me something cold and yummy. Oh, and I may cry for no apparent reason, if I do that, either cry with me, or leave the room. :) Hormones are stupid.

WARNING!!!

I am officially on hormones again. If I yell at you I am sorry, if I cry hysterically for not reason, just ignore me. Jon Lovits is making me make myself have a period. Evidently he doesn't love me. Have you ever had a drug induced period? I don't recommend it. That's all. Jon Lovits is mean, and I am too now. Oh, and if I puke on you, I'm sorry ;)

My doctor

Meet my dr!






\


Ok, not really, here is my guy, but do you see it? Ironically, Dr. Moutis, has NO sense of humor at all. That's another post for another day.

That kid!

conversation of the hour
Kailyn- "momma, don't come in here I'm warning you"
me "are you ok?"
Kailyn "the problem is my tummy is upset and it smells like skunk juice"

I've had a bad day, and this cracked me up. You're welcome :)

Job Update

I love my job, I really do. I am so glad that I didn't get a job the first year after I graduated, just so I could get this one. My boss is amazing, and I really like all the people I work with on a daily basis. So much fun! Oh, and I am surrounded by people who like the same topics I like, such as parenting, child development, and marriage! Did I mention I like my job?

The. best. show. ever.

Love Love Love So You Think You Can Dance!!!
Kailyn loves it too, but we can't let her watch much, it gets her all riled up.

Kailyn's a funny one!

Here's a joke she came up with

What's a P.E. teachers favorite planet?















"Uranus
get it, U-ran-us, you ran us, like a P.E. teacher does, runs us, get it, Momma, get it?"

I love my kid :)

Why I love Target pharmacy

Not only do the nicest people IN THE WORLD work there, they are also smart and really care about each person. So here's the story. I called my nurse (Celeste, who it totally the best) and asked if we could change my prescription from two 750 mg of extended release medicine taken once a day, to three 500 mg of extended release medicine once a day. Anyway, I get in the car all excited that my new medicine was only $6 instead of $76 like the old way was, and then I look at my bottle and realize it was the wrong dose. The problem is, I didn't explain it so well, and somewhere in the lost translation between me to Celeste to pharmacy person,(ok, so it was mostly me not saying it right that messed it up) I ended up with 500mg taken 3 times a day, not the ER. I was on this dose previously, and it was the one that made me hate food and digestion in general. So I call the pharmacy, and they say they will call my Dr tomorrow, and get it all taken care of. I then ask, what should I do tonight, and they say just come on up here we will give you a couple of pills to get you through tonight. I mean, how nice is that? So I already LOVE them, but to do just offer to do that, wow. Anyway, as if that wasn't enough, John and I had people over and by the time they left and he was on his way over, they would be closed, so I called and they said they could stay and wait for him. I said it was no big deal, I could just wait 'til tomorrow, but she said it was fine. So John goes the the pharmacy that was all closed up and they pharmacist was waiting for him in front of it, purse in hand ready to leave, with my medicine for tonight in hand, just like that. They deserve a medal, or trophy, or at least a cookie. Ahhh Target.

Self Control

Those of you who know me, know that I don't have a lot of patience for dumb. I was proud of myself for having some control yesterday though. My mom and I pulled up behind a truck that had some window art and a vanity plate. Now this alone isn't dumb, but what he had, and how he spelled it was. In his window he had a picture of the Pillsbury dough boy, but with a gangsta look to it, ya I said gangsta. This isn't all, the dough boy had a bag of money in each hand. I know, I said gangsta and dough boy in the same sentence. So that is dumb enough, but my favorite part is, he spelled dough, doe. Like a female deer. So he had Doe Boy written on his window, with the picture of the dough boy holding two bags of dough (money) and then a matching Doe boy vanity plate. So please, if you insist on trying to look all cool and hard, please spell things correctly, and please know there is nothing gangsta about a female deer.

For those who know me REALLY well, aren't you proud I didn't just put my car in park and go up to his window and tell him about it? Can't you picture me doing it? Put my car in park, unbuckle, open my door, walk up there cooly, knock knock on the window, signal to roll it down. Then simply say "do you know how to spell dough, like bread dough? Ok, how about dough like money dough? Are you aware you look like an idiot for spelling dough D-O-E not once, but twice on your truck? Who made these decals for you, and why don't you have any friends who corrected you?" I know, I'm impressed with myself too! See, I do have self-control.

JOB

I finally have one! A job that is. I graduated last year and have been looking the whole time. Some people are telling me it is because of my degree, but I don't think they really know what all my degree includes. My degree is a mish mosh of things. I have a BSE in FACS. What is that you ask, well it is a Bachelors of Science in Education (I have my teaching license) in Family and Consumer Sciences (home ec.) Home Ec has gotten a rather bad reputation as of late, but it really is great. It is an education you can use, and I only had one sewing class! I loved having such different classes. I could be taking child development, food science (learning about chemical reactions in food and our body) finance, a social science class where we learn about time, and how people use it, and a parenting class. It is the perfect major for someone as ADD as me. Taxes and mortgages in the morning, psychologists views on spanking at noon, and some chemical reactions in the evening. The perfect day.

The point is I found a job in my field and I love it. Here is part of the posting describing it. It is only part time, but I think that is perfect for us right now.

Job Title Child Care Program Technician
Position Location: Little Rock State Office
Classified Grade
Job Type: Part Time (50-99%)
Annual Salary/Hourly Rate
Job Open Date 02-06-2009
Major Duties: Assist content specialist in creating Best Care lessons for online child care provider training program in the areas of child development, early childhood education, and child care.

Collect and analyze data from program participants to provide an evidence base of program effectiveness.

Stay up-to-date on trends and current issues in child development and the child care field to aid in program development.

Assist project director in conducting research to support program sustainability.

Assist with preparation and submission of monthly reports and contract renewal process

Assist in the design, development, management, and support of web-based child care program (Best Care Connected).
Willingness to learn and maintain knowledge of the field of electronic course delivery.

Coordinate with and assist subject matter specialists and steering committee to determine the most effective delivery of relevant training content for child care providers.

Assist with conducting educational activities as required.

Willingness to learn and utilizes HTML, Dreamweaver, and other web software and online instructional tools to prepare online childcare provider training course.

Coordinate with computer support personnel as needed on technical issues.

Coordinate with Communications specialists on graphics support for web site as needed.

Coordinate with Instructional Design Specialist for course standards and development as needed.
Knowledge, Skills, Abilities: The Child Care Program Technician position requires a strong knowledge of, and educational background in, child development, early childhood education, and child care.

Ability to assist with planning, organizing and developing training materials for child care providers.

Strong written, oral, and interpersonal communication skills.

A self-motivated, organized person who has the ability to interact with Extension partners/clientele at all levels, stick to a schedule, and manage multiple tasks at one time is highly preferred.

Prefer experience with, or willingness to learn, online course development using emerging technologies (video, audio, WWW, other multimedia).

Computer proficiency.
Required Education/Experience (minimum qualifications) Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education, Child Development, Family and Consumer Sciences, Human Environmental Sciences, or related field.


What does all this mean? It means I will help another girl in writing curriculum for child care providers, and teaching it, and testing over it on a website.
The end :)

I'm a posting machine!

So today I saw something that made my heart smile and I thought I'd share. You may say, "what makes Katie's heart smile?" The answer, is zip ties and pants. Yup. I was walking to the class I was subbing in and I saw a wonderful sight that made me smile, not just a regular smile, but the kind that makes you want to hug someone, the kind that cracks you up. I turn the corner and I see a tall guy holding his shirt up with one hand so you can see his waistband, and his other hand is holding up his pants. The administrator is zip tying his belt loops together so that his pants will stay up! I LOVED it!
Speaking of sagging, I finally figured it out. I saw a kid today who was only kind of sagging, like not butt cheeakage was showing, so that kind doesn't bother me at all. But why it stood out to me is he was wearing a pair of khaki shorts hanging on his hips, with plaid SHORTS underneath, that were on his actual waist. The plaid shorts were not boxers, they were actual shorts with like pockets. Then it hit me, he's not "sagging" he's layering. I like to layer. I wear more than one shirt sometimes, you know, for a splash of color. So he isn't trying to look cool by sagging, he was merely layering his shorts. Silly me!

So many things 3

Know what I hate? I hate when I'm going through the drive thru and the people at the second window are just hanging my food out there waiting impatiently for me. Well, on this occasion I was also waiting impatiently for the lady to take my money, but really how rude are they? Here is your food hurry up and come get it. I kinda wanted to get out of my car and walk up there and grab the bag and smack the lady in the face. Good thing I have self-control.

You know how a few posts back I talked about going through Kailyn's clothes and how I had a hard time getting rid of them, well I finally did. Here is the mass of clothes that she outgrew and I finally got rid of, and yes, I cried.

So many things 2

This is the mass of clean laundry that we had to fold, John had already folded about 5 loads, and we had about 5 more to wash. So when you think you need to catch up on laundry, remember the Baney's, we always have to catch up on laundry. (I hate laundry by the way)




This is our flooded back yard. There is one part of the yard that Kailyn was playing in her rainboots in, and I swear it was a good 9 inches deep. Our french drain was working overtime, but there was just too much water.


If you look closely, you will see that tiny thing in the picture, it's some SD cards. Why would I post this you say? Well because the tiny thing in front of that big massive box is all that came in the big massive box. Seriously? Why such a huge box for something that could easily fit in, Oh, I don't know, an envelope.

So many things

I know it's not a good picture of Kailyn, but the point is the shirt. I've been meaning to blog about these shirts for soo long, so I decided to just post one at a time instead of waiting for all of them to be clean at once. My friend Anya made this shirt for Kailyn, isn't it adorable? She made her 4 total, and Kailyn LOVES them all. She thinks they are so cute. So ignore Kailyn's bang that really need to be cut, and just look at how adorable that shirt is. Thank goodness for my hippy/crafty friend Anya!

Updates

I'm on an extended release version of my medicine, and it isn't making me as sick, in fact in comparison, I'm feeling down right amazing!

Kailyn Update:
That tooth that was knocked out in May '08, it's finally growing in! It was one of the first things I blogged about, so you can look that up if ya want, I'm too lazy to do it for you. By knocked out I mean, the one that was soooo loose that food was getting stuck between the top of it and her gums, it would move when she talked. I hated that tooth. This is also the tooth that Kailyn convinced the dentist he didn't want to pull before we went out of town. I wanted it out because I was afraid it would cause problems on the trip. John finally smacked it out on the way home, not in a violent way, but she was sticking it out of her mouth taunting me with it while we were driving, so John unbuckled and turned around smacked it out and told her to pick it up, it was in her lap. She was jut laughing, thinking they were playing, but it was really in her lap. Ya, that tooth. It started coming in about 2 weeks ago. We could see the new tooth when the old one fell out, but it wouldn't budge. I'd joked with her that it took her soooo long to pull that tooth out, that the new tooth had given up, and didn't want to come out. I had no idea it would take close to a year for it to come in. She has two loose teeth right now, but I don't even want to mess with it. I wish she'd just pull those things out already.

Family Update:
We're going to California in a couple of weeks to see my Great Aunt Oma! That woman cracks me up, I love her. I can't wait. It will be a short trip, but that's the only way we could get John to come with us. He didn't want to take off from work. It will be a 4 day trip, 2 days we will mostly be in airports and on airplanes.

Guess what

I passed my liver test again! Yup, I get to keep taking my medicine. They will even let me try clomid again (it's supposed to make you ovulate, it's a very common fertility drug) Have I mentioned I love my new lady? She is very understanding, and is allowing me to have some say in what tortures I put my body through, isn't that sweet?!? So, today is a good day, and I'm glad I have a good friend who calls me as soon as my results come in. Celeste is the best! It rhymes! I'm a dork. Good day.

You know what I love???

Hulu. I love it. For those of you who don't know, we (the Baney's) don't have cable. We choose not to get it. We didn't have it when we were first married because we couldn't afford it, now we have decided it is kind of a waste and really, do we need more stuff to watch? I'd love to have me some Food Network, but I'll get over it. That being said, we have recently come to love Hulu. We bought the cord that connects our computer to the TV, so now it's kind of like having a DVR. We can watch an hour long show that we missed from the day before in about 40 minutes. That's all....I like hulu, and for all of your cable/satellite rebels, or for those of you who don't have DVR, you should check our www.hulu.com
You're welcome.

Is it just me?

Do you ever want to hit someone when they say "I know how you feel"?????

I mean, really, do you? Are you me, do you live my life, do you know how I feel? I don't even really know how I feel.

We're only a few months away from it being 6 years since we started trying to have another baby. When I speak with other women who are trying, the ones who really have tried, we seem to talk about it differently. We understand the insanity, the emotions, we understand how each other feel, but we don't know how each of us feel. When we speak to each other, we never say, well, at least you have one, or at least you've never had a miscarriage, or at least you still have hope. That's not what we want to hear, we want to hear, it's ok to be mad, it's okay to cry. We have a common bond, that feeling of wanting a child and not being able to have one, just taking tests over and over and crying over and over when they come up negative. I know how lucky I am to have Kailyn. She is a blessing, and so wonderful. I still have this emptiness and this nagging feeling that there is more to my family. We feel incomplete. Even Kailyn talks weekly about how much she wants brothers and sisters. I know my family isn't complete, so it just makes me feel even more worthless that I can't get pregnant. How old fashioned is that? I feel like less of a woman because I can't complete my family. Don't get me wrong, please, I truly feel fortunate that I have Kailyn, and I am so glad I've never experiences a miscarriage. All I know is, I've been given a trial that has pushed me to my limits, and it is all I can handle, I couldn't handle more. There are other women out there, one who has been blogging about her road to adoption of her beautiful daughter, who had what I would consider a harder trial than mine, just reading her blog today made me cry my eyes out. My trial is my trial and it is one crazy long trial, with no end in sight. Maybe I'm just weak, but some days I have to walk out of church because I can't handle all the talk of family and children. Sometimes, I don't even want to hold a baby, and sometimes, it makes me feel better. Nothing makes you as crazy as wanting a baby, or another one in my case. I feel so selfish even talking about it.

I am so glad that some of my friends have children they are wonderful moms, and they deserve all the children they can handle. I am sad that they are afraid to tell me they are pregnant, I really am happy for them. I am not happy for all women who are pregnant, but I'm trying. I've heard that expressing your feelings is supposed to help, I don't like it, but I'm trying. I don't like putting myself out there, usually when I talk about it, I just joke about it because it's easier. The truth is I can't ovulate, not even on fertility drugs. I believe adoption is a wonderful thing, I would love to do it myself one day, if that is what's best for the family. John says we can, if that's what I want, but I know he's not ready yet, so I'll wait. I've been waiting for 6 years, what's 6 more? It will all be worth it in the end. All the mood swings, all the throwing up, all the headaches, all the cramps and cysts, all of it will be worth it. The funny thing is, I'm really supposed to be on birth control, for my own health, I'm doing the opposite of that.

I guess that's all the incoherent mumble I have for now. It seems like pointless ramble, but I guess it does feel nice to get it out. I can't wait for the day that I can feel like my family is complete, the day Kailyn can hold her little brother or sister. I often joke that at this rate, Kailyn will be able to drive me to the hospital, and every day I wake up I realize I'm one day closer to that being a reality. Most of my friends who have children Kailyn's age, are actually done having kids, and I feel like I haven't even started yet. When my mom was my age, she had just had me, her last kid. In fact I'd planned to be about done having kids at this age, but my plan isn't His plan. I have to remind myself that a lot.

So if you are ever complaining about a trial, and I say, I know how you feel, you can laugh at me, we all do it sometimes, just trying to comfort each other, but I promise, I really don't know how you feel, but you can have my empathy if you'd like it.

Upadate

So I'm still taking my new medicine. I call it the devil in a pill. Seriously, like 15 minutes after I take it, I can't figure out if I need to throw up, eat, or run to the bathroom. I hate it!!! I was pretty dang sick while I was on my fertility medicine, but I was under the delusion that it would make me pregnant, so it was worth it. This medicine is such a long shot, that it's hard to be excited. Tomorrow I work my way up to 3 pills a day, so I should be real chipper for my interview at 4 :)

Some of you have asked me what this pill is supposed to do, and the best way I can describe it is, it may help me ovulate all by my lonesome, but this really is a long shot. This is my last option, so I'm going to do it, and do it right, but I just can't seem to get excited about it. Since I don't ovulate, even on fertility drugs, IVF isn't an option. There is a new procedure that isn't FDA approved, but it is similar to In vetro, it's called in vetro maturation. For IVF, the docs will dope you up on hormones (yuck) so you ovulate a bunch, then they'll take some eggs out, fertilize them, and put them back in, freeze some, whatever. I'm really simplifying this, but you get the idea right? Anyway, IVM, which is widely used in Europe, you don't have to use the fertility drugs to make you ovulate. This is good, because they don't work for me. They will instead take your follicle, before it becomes an egg (or doesn't in my case) they then make it mature outside of you, fertilize it, and put it back in.

I'm not sure how I feel about it, at what point are we going too far with science? Any who, there is a clinic in Chicago that will do it, it's "experimental" or whatever, but come on, name me one person who has been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 years (like me) that thinks rationally? We're all a little crazy aren't we? In fact, I should clarify what I mean by not being excited. I'm still crazy enough to think it may work, and I still think about it all the time, but I also really dread taking the pill. With fertility drugs, I was like take this for a few more weeks, and get preggers, so I couldn't wait to take the next one, even though I spent most of my time, yelling, crying, and puking, yummy right?

Well, that's your update, enjoy!

So EXCITED!!!

So, most of you know I'm broken, infertile, whatever. Anyway, there is this one "treatment" method type thing that I've never tried, but before I could take the medicine, I had to pass a liver enzyme test. Since I don't drink or take medicine, beside the occasional Aleve, I just knew I'd pass. Well I failed. So I waited 6 weeks to test again, and guess what. Well, from the title of the blog, I guess you figure I passed, and I did! Now, I just get to experience some nasty side effects for a few weeks, nothing new, and see if it works. Even if it doesn't it will be worth it just to have hope for a little bit. Wow, what if I actually ovulated all by my lonesome? Hahahaha, funny, like that would happen. Did you guys know I've only ovulated once in my life all by myself? Without birth control pills, I don't have a periods AT ALL. I know, I'm TOTALLY messed up. Anyway, yippee for me!

Know what I hate?

Mud.
I hate mud.
Did you know sometimes ground can look like it's just dead grass, but really it's mud with dead grass on top?
I found out today.
I got stuck in the mud while picking up Kailyn.
You know who laughs at you when you get stuck in the mud?
1st graders. They will point at you too.
So I get stuck in the mud and I call John, here's how that conversation went:
Hey, I'm stuck in the mud at Kailyn's school.
What? You're stuck in the mud?
Yes, I'm stuck in the mud.
In the Murano?
Yes, in the Murano
pause pause pause
me- Well, are you going to do anything about it?
talk talk talk, then we hang up, right about that time, some guy in a 4X4 truck backs up to me, with his helper walking by the truck. I call John back and tell him never mind, someone else is coming.
Well, he got stuck in the mud too, this stuff was like quicksand, it looks like normal grass but it's mud. He moved over like a foot, and that was dry, it was spotty mud I guess.
Anywho, he got me pulled out, but did you know if you have your window down to get instructions from your puller out guy, and you gas it when he tells you to, you will probably sling mud in your face? Yup, you will. Mud stinks.
I had to wash my car twice today.
I hate mud.

Bragging on my awesome nephew

So, he's amazing, so I'm gonna brag on him....

Warning: You may want to vomit before you finish readhing this, but dangit, I'm gonna brag!
He is on the model UN and going to district for national history day (totally his first time to compete in history day too)
He's the president of FBLA, and is going to state for impromptu speaking

He is also going to state for dive team
He's ranked 16th in his class of 650
He just scored a 29 on his ACT
He is only 15 years old
He just got accepted into ASMSA
Scored perfect on his pre ACT on Math and Science
Just got recommended by his biology teacher to go to the national youth leadership forum on medicine
That's all for now.

Ya, I know, he's as cool as his aunt ;)

To clarify

I had to redo my previous post, please reread it.

So many people are having babies!

I am afraid some people are taking this blog the wrong way! I mean, babies are wonderful! I wish I could have 3 or 4 more!!! This is in no way meant to discourage procreation. I promise. With that being said.......here's the original blog, but with paranthesies added so you know what you are supposed to take from that, or at least what I took from it.


I am glad that so many good people are starting their families. I thought I would tell them what really goes down when you first have a baby, from contractions to breast feeding. I know we all get unsolicited advice, but even with every Tom Dick and Harry telling me what to expect they left out some very important things.
-The beginning of labor the contractions aren't that bad, really
-Don't get cocky, they get worse, way worse (but that means its almost time for baby!)
-If you are in enough pain, you will forget it later, I don't remember a few hours of my labor and I swear it is because it hurts so bad (so you'll forget all about it later)
-Watching contractions on that machine that tracks your contraction makes you want to throw something on it, you don't need something telling you when your contractions are getting more intense, you already know (don't look at machine, it will only make you mad)
-If you are too numb from the epidural they may turn it off, if this is followed by 3 1/2 hours of pushing, you will have no numbing effect left, you will then end up having a natural drug free delivery, this is barbaric and stupid, and makes you hate everyone and everything (don't let them turn it off!!!)
-If I ever find the nurse that turned of my epidural, I am going to hit her with my car (I'm just sayin)
-New born babies are gross gooey covered whiney things (yours will not be different, so be prepared, totally cute once they are wipes down though)
-When the nurse tries to lay said gooey baby on you and you say "it's okay, you can wipe her down first" they look at you like you are crazy. You won't care. (decide to not care what the nurses think before you go in, it will make it all better)
-It is possible to take a shower when you're child is getting all of his/her shots and what not, I did it and I'd do it again. That shower when Kailyn was 5 minutes old, was the last undisturbed shower I've had. (I also felt waaay better after my shower, but I'm a little crazy like that)
-Just because you are no longer numb from the epidural doesn't mean you have the strength to stand, John had to wash me, but I was taking that shower dangit (don't overestimate your own strength)
-child birth is disgusting (beautiful in a way, but gross nonetheless)
-after your water breaks, you will feel like you are peeing yourself with every contraction, you will NEVER get used to this feeling. (I've got nothing for this, I just wish I was warned)
-The nurses will wait until you fall asleep to come check on you (you can request them to come in a little early if you know you are about to go to sleep, I didn't find this out til it was almost time for me to go)
-That first meal after childbirth is delicious! It was hospital bar b que, but dangit, it was amazing to me. I'm not even sure I chewed it. (don't worry about hospital food, it will be amazing, the first time at least)
-They will give you some stretchy gauze like panties, these are the most comfortable underwear in the world, they are also freakishly ugly (cute undies are what got you into this mess in the first place, enjoy the comfort of these meshy things)
-If you take a shower 5 minutes after childbirth and bleed on the floor nurses will give you a crazy look, you will not care, childbirth is gross,(once again, do what makes you happy)
-Breastfeeding is a natural process, but so is pooping, neither are very pretty (just be prepared, I'd do it again though!)
-Breastfeeding helps you bond with your child, but you will feel like a cow, a big fat milk cow (totally totally totally worth it)
-Your boobs will spontaneously lactate in public, this is embarrassing (I didn't know this beforehand)
-Breast pads are a must (really)
-If you put pressure on your boobs in the nipular area, it will stop the stream of milk, hence saving you the embarrassment (just try and find a way to do this that doesn't look like you are just groping yourself)
-Breast pumps were invented to make sure you feel like a cow, just in case you already didn't (but your hubby can feed if he has a bottle!)
-You are fatter leaving the hospital than you were going in (I'd heard the rumors, but I didn't believe it)
-Don't look in the mirror until your child is a few weeks old, you won't look so great. (I wish I hadn't)
- You will learn to take a faster shower than you ever thought possible, once you have a kid (sometimes I amaze myself)
-Not being able to sooth your child is the worst feeling in the world. (it really is)
-It really is all worth it. (I can't say it enough)
-They grow up way too fast (way way way way way too fast)
-I'd do it all over again, the pain, the milk cow, all of it (I really would!)

I'm sure there is more, but this will do for now! Have fun girls!!!

Linking Facebook and the Blog world

I did this on facebook and decided I wanted some of my blogger friends to do one too. Here's mine so everyone else do one too please!!!

1.I hate vegetables
2. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for over 5 ½ years, I am broken
3. I genuinely think my kid is smarter than your kid
4. I HATE mushy sentimental cards, they make me want to gag
5. People who don’t know me, think I’m a brat
6. I don’t like to let people get to know me, and people who do think they know me, usually don't
7. I can taste everything I smell (this can be good or bad, and yes that does mean I can taste skunk road kill)
8. I think my dad is the smartest person who has ever existed (no lie, I also think he is super human)
9. I married the only person I ever dated that would argue with me
10. I miss how I used to look, I know, don't we all?
11. I’m smarter than I let people realize
12. I’m pickier than the average 2 year old about everything
13. I can’t touch peanut butter, it upsets me on a very very very deep level
14. My kid loves peanut butter sandwiches
15. I LOVE my dog, well all dogs really, unless they’ve proven to me they shouldn’t be loved (long story, but this has only happened once) I want a boxer, a cocker spaniel really bad (hint hint John)
16. I am a sucker for any mammal really
17. I sometimes talk to people just to make them uncomfortable, it cracks me up, in fact, I do at lot of things just because it cracks me up.
18. I seldom use my frontal lobe, this has gotten me into trouble a few times
19. It is freakishly hard for me to say no to someone (except my daughter, I’m the queen of no in her eyes)
20. I can’t believe how much I love my husband (oh I almost gagged just then)
21. I am terrified something bad will happen to my daughter, and I frequently check on her throughout the night.
22.My favorite movie of all time is Pride and Predjudice the 6 hour long A&E version, and if you don't like it, I will probably think you are not a good person.
23. I am a light sleeper
24. If I wake up after sleeping for 4 hours and before 6 hours, I can’t go back to sleep, ever, this is very annoying.
25.I may end up slapping the next woman I hear say “I can’t believe I’m pregnant again” even if I don’t know her (I'm not violent, but really people shut your face)

I realized I should have really put a few weird things about me on there (what I'm weirder than that? Yes, yes I am)

1. I refuse to wear contacts. It defies logic. I was taught my whole life to NOT put things in my eye, and I don't see how some round plastic like substance in my eye is going to be ok. Contact wearers are freaks.

2. I refuse to dive. I am not throwing my head to the bottom of a concrete pool. Why would anyone do this? Seriously people, you are all weird, not me, but you.

My body hates me, but not as much as I dislike Nancy Grace!!!

So, I was sitting in the recliner with a heating pad wondering what I'd done to my body for it to retaliate in such a barbaric manner when I ran across this video. I can't stand Nancy Grace, in fact I don't like people that like her, usually. She is close minded and egotistical and just horrible. Her producer is my new hero, I LOVE it, and yes, this is sooooo something I would do.

Updates

So we did play Wal-Mart bingo the other night. I wanted a new pillow and Target was closed so we went to Wal-Mart. John won the second game and we tied the first. It was really more tic tac toeish because we had 9 squares and you had to get 3 in a row. Hilarious. Here are John's winning squares
-Emo kid
-Used gum on the floor
-Stripper/Hooker earrings

Some of the other things we got marked off were
nasty fat guy
camo
lip piercing
bad bleach job
redneck pda (they love making out in public don't they)
Greasy hair
Meth head

Some things we realized we should have put on the card
no teeth
back hair showing (gag)
butt picker (you know what I'm talking about)
Cellulite showing (I know it's common to have, but please cover it up)

John can be funny some times, here's a quote he said
"Oh my gosh, cellulite time 2, I can see it through her pants"
Her pants were super thin, I mean it was freezing outside, If I had a tiny piece of lint on my leg,you would have seen it through these pants. I've seen gauze thicker than these pants.

We did find one family that we were sure we could mark everything off our list, but thought it would be rude to ask them to stop so we could examine them and mark everything off our list, I mean really, they encompassed everything that grossed me out.

Hillarious Video!!!

Oh, wow, i almost wet myself.

Hanke Brothers

Ok, I get annoyed by some commercials, Watsons, Crain, and Hanke lead the pack though. The new Hanke commercial really bothers me though, I mean is it just me or does it not look like he was trying to make a dating video. He looks like he wants to pounce on the camera if you know what I mean. This was evidently made so "lonely housewives" would want that Christopher Hanke to come "remodel" their house. As a housewife, I'm insulted, as a female, I'm offended, and as a human I'm repulsed. Yuck. I miss funny commercials. I guess it's still not as bad as "That's Watsons!" gag

Ice storm and Idiots

First of all, thanks for the hilarious comments you all leave! Crack on the bingo card, used gum markers, all too funny!!!

Now to tell of my experience yesterday. First of all I buy my groceries on Mondays or Tuesdays all the time. Most grocery stores restock on Sunday night and early Monday morning so I get the fresh stuff, and Tuesday is Senior Citizen day, and I like that crowd. They move slower, but they are polite, don't block isles, and will randomly give you advice (the good kind, not the pushy kind.) So I needed some groceries yesterday and went to the store after I picked Kailyn up from school. I knew it would be crowded because people love to freak out around here anytime someone mentions the possibility of ice, I didn't know I could find all of my pet peeves in one store though. I have 3 main pet peeves, bad hygene, rude people, and stupid people. Evidently yesterday was the national kroger convention for all of the rude/stupid people. They all seemed clean enough though. I also can't stand slow, but it doesn't always annoy me so much, but it sure did yesterday. I don't know how many times I couldn't get to what i needed, I only got about half of what was on my list, people were blocking isles, leaving there carts in the middle of the isles, and worst of all, they were browsing. I mean, they didn't even know what they wanted, they were just looking at stuff, being slow, and dumb. I was soooo frustrated byt he time I went to check out. I mean, when you run into someone, say excuse me! Don't be so freakin rude! Don't block isles, if you're thinking about what cheese you want, let the people through that know what stinkin cheese they want. I won't go into details, but I was insanely annoyed when I went to check out. Then of course someone cuts in line at the self checkout, but the lady next to me said something to her, and the cutter acted like she didn't notice us (whatever, rude.) Well, I check out, and I'm speedy at it, people are all in my personal space, but I'm trying to be nice about it. I go to leave, it's started raining, it's cold, and then some grumpy old man in a Cadillac almost hit me. He wasn't looking at anything, just determined to get that good spot. I almost wanted him to hit me, I was so mad I felt like I could have dented his car! I finally get to my car, it's raining so I tell Kailyn to just get in, I'll unload the groceries and put the cart up. For once in her life, she actually hurried up and was almost buckled when I see the bright yellow bananas siting by my purse in the cart. I never paid for them. Four stupid bananas. I tell Kailyn to get back out, I forgot to pay for the bananas, she looks at me like I'm crazy. I grab her hand and we run back in, go to the self check outs and get in line. I'm waiting behind this woman who doesn't realize two things, 1- she has too many items, 2- she'd too stupid to check herself out. I don't know how many times I wanted to just push her out of the way and tell her how to do it. She couldn't figure out why she had to keep waiting for an attendant, I knew it was because her kid was leaning on the scale thingy. If you're too dumb to check yourself out, then don't use the self checkout. I think that's really simple logic, but alas, it was idiot day at Kroger, so not many people shared my logic. I finally got to check out and paid 1.41 for my bananas and left. I wanted to run everyone over by the time I left. I was all calmed down when I finally got home, I realized I forgot something I needed for that night, but decided nothing was that important. I wasn't going back. Good thing everyone made that mad dash to the store yesterday, we sure are iced in. Wow.

Comments

I LOVE to read the comments left on my blog and this one in particular cracked me up! I wanted to make sure everyone read it. Here is Sister Martindale's response to my idea of Wal-Mart bingo

Blogger Martindale News said...

I think I want to play to. You are hilarious! Walmart bingo love the idea... what do we use to place on the cards for bingo or black out? Hummm maybe used gum off the floor would work! Any other ideas


Gum off the floor! That cracked John and I us so much on our way home the other day that we had tears in our eyes! (ya, I checked my blog on my crackberry, so what?)

Ok ok ok....

I am aware that my blog lacks a lot, but I think if you don't like it then get off my page. I am trying to be nicer, and by so doing, my blog is bland. I am hilarious when I'm mad, but I don't like being mad. More often than not I'll be mouthing off about something idiotic that occurred in my day and John will be listening to me in tears. I am trying to stop this though, so I am trying to be good. I did however find myself in Wal-Mart last night, so of course I got a little mouthy. I did come up with a new game though! I think I'll play it next time I go to Wal-Mart so it will be more enjoyable to me!!!
Here's the game... Wal-Mart bingo. You heard me! Grab some friends, and some paper and let the fun begin. What you do is make your own bingo card and fill in the squares with things you'll see at Wal-Mart. Each person makes their own card and walks around together, you call things out as you see them and mark your card. What would you see at wally world? You may be thinking detergent, potatoes, frozen pizza, hairbrush, stuff like that, but noooooo. I was thinking about other things. Here are some things I would put on my bingo Wal-Mart card...

mullet
perm
stretch marks
belly rings
70 plus year old lady in a mini skirt
cellulite
excess amounts of cleavage
woman without a bra
super long fake nails (the kind that curl)
baby alone in cart with no parent in sight
crazy lady with lots of blue eye shadow
person who hasn't bathed in daaaaaaaaays
random scary guy who hits on random trashy girl
etc

So grab your card and your friends and let the fun begin!!!

Kailyn's Haircut

Cutting Kailyn's hair is about like putting a sweater on a great dane. It seems like a good idea, but you'll quickly wish you'd never started. Nonetheless, I got it all done. Here's the proof. Oh, and why do you feel like crying when you cut your kids hair? It's like she keeps growing up, when clearly I want her to be a little girl forever.

About John

I thought I'd steal this because I'm too lazy to come up with my own idea :)

1. He's sitting in front of the tv. What's on the screen?
2 1/2 men reruns, CSI Miami, Mentalist

2. You are out to eat. What dressing does he get on his salad?
Italian

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
Tuna

4. You go out to a bar. What does he drink first?
He's the kinda guy who will throw back a dew or two (Mtn Dew that is)

5. Where did he go to high school?
Brinkley and Cabot High Schools

6. If he were to collect anything, what would it be?
tokens of Kailyn's love (notes, drawings, etc) and electronics cables

7. What shoe size does he wear?
12, even though he keeps thinking he wears a 10

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Ham sammiches

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
Steaks (yuck)

10. What would he never wear?
penny loafers (I would like to get him another nice pair of driving loafers though)

11. What is his favorite sports team?
Cardinals

12. What is something you do that he wishes you didn't do so much?
Nothing, I'm awesome

13. How many states has he lived in?
3 Arkansas, Texas, and Utah (and Guam, but that's not a state)

14. What is his heritage?
European-American (His family is pretty Germanish)

15. You bake him a cake for his birthday. What kind of cake would it be?
Cinnamon Rolls (I know, that's not a cake, but whatever)

16. Did he play sports in high school?
Nope, he played golf in the Air Force though, and softball too, and basketball, ok, that's it.

17. What could he spend hours doing?
working

kids say the darndest things

So I was tucking Kailyn in bed last night and I was sitting on the edge of her bed and she gave me a big hug and patted my belly and said "Wow Mom, it looks like you have a baby in there!"
AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~!
I simply said, i know, momma has a gut, no baby though (I know she really wants a brother/sister so she was not only pointing out the oh so obvious, she was also wondering if I was in fact pregnant)
Here's what I was thinking
Listen here you little hussy, I looked freaking amazing before I got pregnant with you! I was thin and had perky boobs, so before you go passing judgment on me you need to understand that you took my youth from me!
Not to mention I have been trying to give you a little brother or sister and that has been heck on my body and ever since I have stopped all artificial hormone things, I have gotten a little bigger, especially around my gut, which is where I gain weight, so don't judge me, and you gain weight on the top of your hips so there!

When enough is just enough!

Kailyn is spoiled. Very spoiled. I can blame it on anyone I want to, but the truth is, I did it. I buy her things all the time. She is so stinkin adorable, and I just love to dress her up and buy her things. There, I said it! I am ruining my wonderful daughter. Whew, what a relief.
I have known for a while it was getting bad, Kailyn would seem confused when we left a store and hadn't bought her anything. She would really wonder where her stuff was, because, evidently I had trained her to expect something from every store we go to. From GAP to Kroger, she got something. This is only part of where I went wrong.
Let's get to the good part though, the heartless mommy part (that's me.)
After Christmas I asked Kailyn to put her new things away, and finish picking up her room. This went on for days, I yelled a few times, threatened, whatever, but she just didn't seem to care. I had had enough. I calmly said, that is enough, I am doing it myself. Her eyes widened like she'd seen a ghost. She immediately started crying and wanted to call her Mamaw. I grabbed some trash bags and went to work. I decided she needed to know what it was like to only have what you need, and not everything you want. I guess she found my phone because next thing I knew my mom was on her way. Such a good Mamaw, but mean old me had to call off the calvary. I asked my mom to not come. She (being a mom of a messy daughter herself, me) knew what was up, and turned around and went home. Kailyn cried, she bawled, and huffed and sobbed. I kept working straight faced. I'm not really that mean though, I wanted to cry too. Actually I wanted to cry, take her to get some ice cream, and a toy, and a new outfit. I know! I'm sick! I kept up my work though. Then, I started the lecture, you know the one. There are kids in this world that only have the clothes on their backs, yadda yadda yadda. I then explained she only needed
1 mattress (no bed)
1 blanket
1 pillow
3 shirts
2 pairs of pants
1 pair of shoes (I'm pretty sure her heart stopped beating when I said this)
1 coat
After that, I got heartless and made her pick out what she wanted.
She had to pick out which she wanted, and say bye bye to the rest. I told her the TV was gone, DVD player, outta there, she wouldn't need her dresser anymore, and she didn't need her bunk bed either. None of it. I figured she could keep her room clean now. I then made her go get more trash bags for me. I told her I wasn't throwing it away, but I was going to give them to other children who didn't have as much.
That is when my heart melted. She stopped crying, went and got the bags, and began to help. She would pick up a toy and place it in the bag and say "I bet a little girl could really love this toy as much as I did. It would make her happy." she had different things to say about each toy or book, but it was like a dagger in my heart each time. Wow, I was too mean for my own good. So I made her a deal. She saw all of these bags filled up (13 to be exact) and there was still a mess in her room. I told her she could clean her own room. She could empty out these bags and pick what went into them, but I wanted all of these bags filled up when she was done. I then explained that even with these bags full, she still had a mess in her room, and her toy chest was still full. So she went to work. This has been going on for a few days, and she only has 7 bags filled up, but I'm making her finish it dangit! I can't loose credibility now, she's not even a teenager yet. Oh, and I bought her a new dress yesterday. :(